Recently I was having a heart-to-heart with a dear friend during which we were sharing our own experiences through the tides of change, the vicissitudes of life, and how destabilizing un grounding, anxiety-provoking, and fearful these times can be.
When it feels as though the rug is being pulled out from under us or the aspects of our lives to which we’ve attached our security and identity are shifting – or dissolving away completely – the grace and wisdom that we know is available somewhere can often feel absolutely impossible to access.
As I’ve been visiting some of these places myself in subtle ways over the last few weeks, I’ve been reminded of the one thing that can bring relief, solace, and comfort when all else fails to reach your tender, quivering heart….
To trust the wisdom of life itself.
She told me about when she was going through a series of life-changing events that did nothing less than completely rock her world to the core. Within less than a year, her father passed away, followed by her sister’s passing a few months later, followed by her divorce after 25 yrs of marriage. And, she had already lost her brother 20 yrs prior to all of this. At the young age of 44, she had already experienced more loss than some experience in a single lifetime.
During this time of navigating through what felt like such a dark and lonely time, she had the opportunity to visit with a Tibetan healer. After openly expressing her despair, desperation, and deep questioning of
“Where do I go from here?”
“How will I move forward after this….and do I even want to?”
“I feel like a ship lost at sea. I know there is land somewhere, but it is nowhere in sight.”
You know what he said?
“How lucky you are!”
In that moment, she knew exactly what he meant. And she felt the first glimmer of hope and relief she had felt in months.
Even though I had already heard her tell this story several times before, this was exactly what I needed to hear….. yet again. It touched in me what no other words, tools, practice, or process could reach.
When we feel as though we’ve lost everything we’ve known and relied on to feel O.K. in the world, we’re squeezed into digging deeper than we’ve ever gone before in order to remember and ground into that which can never be lost….that which can never be taken away.
And this is the grace and the grit that my heart and soul thrive on.
I remind you, and I remind myself:
The power that determines our experience is not in what is happening or not happening. The power is in what we tell ourselves about what is occurring or not in our lives and how we choose to relate to it.
My personal go-to mantra for everything – as long as I remember it before the downward spiral takes over – ( and you’re welcome to borrow it if you’d like) is…
“No matter what the circumstances may appear to be, I choose to believe and know that it is nothing less and nothing more than life loving me into becoming more of who I desire to become and my soul passionately seeking it’s own magnificent unfurling into its next level of awakening”
While the flavor and texture of our human experience may vary season-to-season on the broad spectrum of ecstatic joy to heart-renching pain, the one constant is that there is a profound wisdom and potent opportunity that is always present for waking up to what you came here to ultimately remember.
And the grace that perhaps previously eluded us returns as soon as we are willing to lean into the grit and trust life a little more each time.