What is a woman to do when it feels like nothing is going her way?

I was pondering this in the middle of spin class the other morning when I myself was feeling the weight of some unfinished projects, the strain of a personal relationship, the overwhelm and anxiety of so much to do and not enough time. There I was wishing I could simply wave my magic wand to make it all go away and desperately craving a respite from the angst that goes along with being human…..all because I was believing and buying into the stories of lack and limitation of which my mind was trying to convince me.

Maybe you can relate, especially if you’ve every felt:

~ paralyzed in what feels like an endless holding pattern
~ doubt in yourself and your vision
~ depleted and disconnected from your inner life
~ a lack of confidence
~ too blocked and afraid to move forward
~ stuck in dissatisfaction and uncertainty of what to do, where to go, or how to get out of this hole

Or maybe you’ve felt deeply discouraged that all your desires still feel so far out of reach. You’ve been applying all the wisdom, tools, and mindset mastery you can summon from within you, but nothing seems to budge. Nothing seems to be effective. Nothing is making a dent in the inertia you feel.

As you look around, there’s still no evidence of change, shifts, or movement in the direction of what you want. And, you’re exhausted of doing more and more but feeling less and less fulfilled

The temptation to give up and throw in the towel can be high in these moments of despair and frustration.

So, in service of myself and each and every woman, I asked….

What is a woman to do when it feels like nothing is going her way?

Because when we hit this wall, we tend to:

~ shrink our desires
~ give up on all the hopes and dreams we’ve ever had
~ lose sight of our larger vision
~ recoil back inside the shell of our small self
~ question everything and everyone, especially ourselves and our capacity to fulfill our unique purpose of this lifetime
~ blame ourselves for all that’s mediocre in our lives and all that’s not yet come together
~ attack, blame and judge ourselves for all the ways in which we should know better, do better, and be better

So, what is a woman to do when it feels like nothing is going her way?

Step 1: Get quiet and make space

This is about stepping back from the whirlwind of the everyday momentum that can so easily overshadow the wisdom of the higher perspective of our soul and the clarity of what matters most.

It opens us back up to the infinite, invisible sources of support that we so quickly shut out when we’re in the throes of anxiety, fear, and self-recrimination. Getting quiet and taking space is what allows us to receive again from the universe, the divine, cosmic consciousness – or whatever you may call this timeless, ineffable, eternal reservoir of well-being – that always showering us with love, guidance, and illuminating direction.

Step 2: Fan the flames of your inner knowing

You would not feel the slightest discontent or dissatisfaction if some part of you did not already know, desire and believe that more is possible than what you are currently experiencing.

Deep inside your heart, you know without a shadow of a doubt that you are capable of so much more and you are meant to experience your life and yourself to the fullest on all levels in every way.

Nurture this inner seed of knowing. Acknowledge this aspect of you who knows that she knows that she knows what is true, what is possible, and what is inevitable…

Your desires arise from the very fabric of your being. They are the very bedrock of your being. Trust and fan the flames of your desires, without requiring external evidence to validate their viability and unfolding. The moment you let yourself get discouraged by the absence of any noticeable, visible external evidence of your desires manifesting, you repel them and widen the gap between where you are and where you desire to be.

Step 3: Honor the wisdom of your present state

Our perception is everything. In other words, how we relate to whatever is happening or not happening is what determines our experience of it.

Your judgement towards and discontent about whatever is occurring IS the very thing that will stabilize it even further.

It’s the not wanting it to be the way it is that makes it immovable.

So, the only remedy that makes change possible, and the only hope for what you desire to become a reality is your ability to honor the wisdom of your present state.

It’s the compassion that you can extend yourself along with the wonder and curiosity that begins to loosen it’s grip. So one of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself in these moments of despair and frustration is:

“What’s the insight, the learning, the opportunity for growth, or the possibility for expansion within this circumstance that I have yet to discover that would make all the difference?”

Trust whatever arises – even if it’s nothing. Trust in the wisdom of the void, the silence, the nothingness, the unknown, the space – which is sometimes the most rich and fertile source of wisdom that is yet to come.

I love what Louise Hay says, “All that I need to know comes to me in the perfect time-space reality”

All these steps are designed to relax your nervous system, to restore peace in your heart and to reignite faith in the benevolence of the universe, so that you can let go of any lingering feelings self blame, self recrimination, anxiety, fear, or judgement of what is or what is not currently happening in your life.

It’s this loosening, relaxing, and melting of resistance that IS the first step to moving back into the flow of the creation energy that is always flowing in the direction of your desires.

The only question is…. where are you in relationship to that flow?

So, I invite you to give yourself the gift of taking just a few minutes to walk yourself through these steps, which will put you right back into the stream of what it is you want.