If so, then I invite you to look at…
What is your relationship to pleasure like these days?
To be totally honest and transparent with you, I’ve honestly never been someone who has had an easy time orienting my life around pleasure.
Having started completive ice dancing at age 7, discipline, precision, and intense training was at the very foundation of my daily life.
And then, having struggled with body image issues and a bout of anorexia as a young teen, I got more comfortable with deprivation and restriction than I was with indulgence and fullness and enjoyment.
One of the ways that shows up for me now, as an adult, and one that I recognize in the women I work with as well as with my friends and colleagues is this tendency to put productivity before over pleasure.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that we need to prove our value and worth in what we produce, create, and accomplish into a visible, tangible concrete form. so that others can see it, recognize it, evaluate it as a measurement of our significance or success
So if we want to be enough, to be successful, to belong, to get acknowledged, then it makes sense that we might be reluctant to take time for pleasure for fear that it would impede our productivity right?
In this way, pleasure and productivity can seem mutually exclusive.
When we fall into this trap of postponing pleasure until we’ve produced what we believe we need to in order to be worthy and enough OR postponing pleasure until we’ve pushed, deprived or restricted ourselves (including our bodies) enough to feel that we deserve to relax and enjoy ourselves and our lives for a change, then it takes getting to the point of feeling totally run down, burnt out, depleted and drained to completely empty to remind us that we are meant for so much more than we are allowing ourselves to experience and to wake us up to why we are here in the first place and what our purpose truly is….which is to know joy, to feel good, and to experience the full range of pleasure on all levels.
This brings me to the next point –
Without the fuel or feeling of pleasure, you will not be able to fulfill your purpose.
Every woman I speak to is hungry to fulfill her purpose, to unleash her gifts, and to make a profound difference and contribution in this world in a way that truly feeds her heart and soul and in a way that is a natural unfolding expression of her unique essence.
And she is desperate to get out of her own way, to let go of limiting beliefs and fears, and to do whatever it takes in order for this to occur through her.
While each one may have her own unique version of the gifts and contribution she desires to express, the end result is similar – if not identical – because it all comes down to the fulfillment of her purpose…her soul’s unique destiny in this lifetime.
This very experience of fulfilling our unique destiny is one of ultimate pleasure on all levels.
While we all have different words to describe it – peace, joy, lightness, ease, freedom connection, love, radiance, wholeness, deep satisfaction, bliss, fulfillment – it all comes down to some form of pleasure – emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual.
Would you agree?
So would you also agree then that you don’t have to wait another second to fulfill your purpose?
By giving yourself permission and allowing yourself to experience pleasure right here and right now.
Because the moment you let more pleasure into your experience is the moment when you collapse time – the illusion of time – and allow yourself to move towards your end goal and allow for your end goal to come closer to you.
Pleasure is magnetic to everything that you desire.
Because you being in pleasure is what naturally draws to you more opportunities to experience pleasure
So that this practice doesn’t become another chore on your to-do list, I like to make a game out of it to keep it fun, playful, and light.
Imagine your end goal as your lover….as the embrace, the kiss that you just can’t wait to get to.
Every time you deny yourself the pleasure available to you in this very moment is keeping this lover – and every desire you have – at arm’s length and even pushing them further away.
Do you really want to continue repelling and delaying your desires from coming to you?
If not, then it’s time to make this even more practical:
Next time you’re faced with an opportunity to feel good, use it as a gauge to determine where you are in relationship to your metaphorical lover along with all the other desires and experiences you’re feeling deprived of right now.
You can ask yourself:
1. “Am I willing to allow myself to feel good right now for long enough for long enough to raise my vibration into alignment with my desires?”
2. Then step 2 is to take an overview of your day your week your life – and on a regular basis – begin to look at and ask yourself:
“What do I need to let go of or stop doing in order to make more space for pleasure?”
It might be a habit or behavior such as:
~ distracting yourself with busyness
~ saying “yes” when you really mean “no”
Or it could be a belief such as:
~ I won’t get anything done
~ I’ll get distracted and lose focus
~ I’m not worthy of feeling good
~ I haven’t done enough to deserve pleasure yet
These are just some ideas to get you started.
So, getting back to my original point…..
If our purpose is to know joy, to feel good, and experience the full range of pleasure on all levels, we are meant for so much more than we are allowing ourselves to experience.
You can allow yourself to relax into what you want and to fulfill your purpose right now simply by making it a priority to habituate yourself to pleasure and allowing it to permeate your body, heart, mind, cells…..and let it be the sweetness that closes any gap you may feel between where you are and where you desire to be.
Remember, all that I’ve shared here today doesn’t even have to be a massive overhaul or require a radical change. For some of us, that can feel too dramatic or create too much pressure to be different than we are.
You can start by simply setting the intention to remember just a little more often than you have been and then taking baby steps towards that.
My favorite “go – to” approach with this practice of prioritizing pleasure – that is at your fingertips and at your disposal any time – is taking a deep breath all the way down to the tips of your toes….allowing this to become a very pleasurable, sensual experience as you feel the breath caressing all the way out to the edges of your body. And, as I do this, I come back to the knowing that this moment just as it is now will never be again.
And this immediately drops me into the sacred gift that this life is and into reverence of this moment, and the next, and the next……
To empower this even more, you can even add your own mantra or affirmation. A great one based on what we’ve covered here today is:
“I deserve to feel good”
And consider as you’re going through your day the possibility that pleasure is the most productive thing you could devote yourself to!